It’s Mother’s Day today in the UK and this gives us a chance to show our mums how much they mean to us – whether they are still with us or not. There is an undeniable connection to your mother, no matter what is going on in life.
As babies we are conditioned to bond to the person who provides us with the most care – this can be our mother, father or anyone that provides us the majority of our care. This bond is what psychologists call ‘Attachment Theory’. It’s a biological instinct where we equate our safety with being close to this person and that this person will take away our discomfort and protect us.
We don’t know about you, but that definitely describes our mums.
In honour of our mums, we wanted to share some of the most valuable lessons we have learnt from them:
“Grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference”.
This was something we had on an ornament in our house growing up – and it followed us from house to house and has always stuck with me. Learning to let go and move on, or dig in and work hard are crucial life skills we all need.
“When driving, you don’t have to run a race”
When someone approaches in your rear view mirror, whether it be in the car or in life in general, you can choose to put your foot down or carry on at your own pace. Life is not a race or a competition. Enjoy the journey and don’t put your foot down and miss the beauty and opportunities around you.
“Never let the sun set on an argument”
A quote taken from Ephesians 4:26, in the heat of a disagreement it can be hard to reach resolution. Feelings of anger or resentment can be destructive if not handled properly, both to our physical and emotional health, but also can have a wide reaching impact on our relationships and careers.
“You are in charge of your own feelings”
This would often come during a typical teenage temper tantrum and mum would tell me that I was in charge of how I felt. At the time, I never understood it, but as I have got older it makes sense. Yes, a certain event or circumstance may trigger emotions e.g. an argument might make us angry, but we are in charge of how we deal with that anger. Do we bottle it up, or do we move on and resolve and forgive? You are in control of how you handle and react to your feelings.
“If you can’t do it, learn to do it”
If there was something I wasn’t able to do, mum would always work out if there was a way to learn it. She always believed education, in all it’s forms, was the way to improve oneself. As doctors, we are somewhat infamous for our poor handwriting, but even growing up my handwriting was questionable. So mum would keep buying me handwriting books to try and practice and improve. When we come up against something we struggle with, we are faced with two options: we can give up, or we can adapt and work through it, and it was my mum taught me that we didn’t give up.
“One day you’ll thank me”
They were right. We’re incredibly thankful for all they have done and taught us. Abraham Lincoln told us that “All that I am, or ever hope to be, I owe to my Mother”, and we’re inclined to agree.